We made it to the end of the week! Sometimes they seem longer than others, don’t
they? I appreciate the things I have
seen this week. So many engaged students
and teachers.
This week, I have “heard through the
grapevine” lots of different things.
Things that are very negative towards people and things that are
obviously not true. It is shocking sometimes what people choose to talk about
has no truth or very little, at best. I
have to commend you, as teachers though, you are not the group where I am
hearing it. You guys do an amazing job
at keeping conversations “above board.”
I can see that you guys deal with issues head on with the parties that
can help resolve them. That is HUGE, and
that makes this a wonderful place to work.
So, know that my comment above isn’t about you. It just seems like this week I have heard
bits of gossip in lots of different avenues in life, and it hit me once again
how detrimental gossip can be to a person and an organization.
So, I want today’s “flush” to have 2 parts. Number 1…be encouraged if you hear something
about you, your team, or your school that isn’t true. Sometimes, people want to drag you down to
make themselves feel better….sometimes people assume if they don’t understand
it, it must be bad….sometimes people are just misinformed. It isn’t always personal…and it doesn’t make
it true, if someone says it loudly! Be encouraged
that you are not alone.
Secondly, it is always a great reminder
that our words have amazing power. We
can hurt or uplift with our words. We
are a profession that is based on words, so I do think we understand that… We rely heavily on team, so think of ways
over the weekend to continue to support your team and how we can continue to
squelch gossip.
Below is the excerpt from an online
article that I found…worth reading…link it at the bottom.
1.
Know
what gossip is. Friendly work banter
and gossip are worlds apart. But how do you tell the difference? Consider the
following:
o Discussion: A friendly work discussion that talks about others keeps the
references to other people general, friendly and supportive. The speaker is not
obsessed with picking holes in another person's character but is merely
imparting information about what another person or people have done in a
matter-of-fact way, to further an objective, work-related conversation and to
enlighten the listener about work relevant information;
o Gossip: Gossip tends to be talk that gains attention for the speaker.
The speaker will often adopt a confidential tone and is using the information
about somebody else to be the center of attention and will impart the details
in a way that tries to undermine the credibility or likability of another
person. The details may be given with moralizing undertones and character
assassination may be the top of the gossiper's agenda. Often you are told more
personal details than you care to know about. The motivations behind gossip
include attention-seeking, self-inflation, exaggeration and a me-versus-them
mentality;
o Grapevine gossip: This is gossip pertaining to general change
occurring within a workplace. Someone started it and now it is running about
like wildfire. Usually this happens in an uncertain environment and is fueled
by fear, poor communications from management levels and wild guesses by staff.
It is less personal than gossip attacking another person but is as equally
damaging and demoralizing.
2.
Don't take work gossip
to heart. A lot of work gossip
is just that - gossip. It is filled with innuendo, rumors, errors and even
deliberately malicious nonsense. Take it with a pinch of salt rather than
reacting personally or defensively. There is no doubt that gossip must be
dealt with strongly and immediately but it will not help your situation as a
team leader or colleague to take it personally. Focus instead on the reality
that there is an underlying reason or series of reasons causing the gossip and
focus on dealing with it objectively as a task rather than as a personal attack
to be foiled in an emotional or angry manner.
3
Arm yourself with the
facts. Is there truth to the
tall tales? Sometimes there is a kernel of truth and this should be uncovered
before addressing the problem so that you are well placed to respond with facts
rather than emotions. This is especially important in relation to change management
gossip where wild ideas take root quickly and spread even faster; look for
factual answers by asking questions of the right people, namely, those who are
in a position to give definitive and accurate answers. You may also need to
seek additional facts from trustworthy sources such as internal bulletins,
official publications and meeting minutes if there is gossip about changes or
redundancies that might sideswipe your response.
4
Assess the context. Which type of gossip are you dealing with -
personal gossip or workplace change gossip? Both require fast and firm
treatment to prevent staff morale from plummeting. The following two steps
address each type.
5
Address workplace change
gossip with speed, supportiveness and honesty. During times of rapid change and uncertainty in a workplace,
gossip will naturally increase due to fear and anticipated negative outcomes.
It is important to realize this and to sort the fear factor from the facts. If
you are a team leader, be a source of reassurance to your team by acknowledging
their fears and worries. Armed with prior researched facts, tell them what you
do know; equally tell them what you don't know and do not make things up. When
you don't know something, tell them that you'll find out. Be the rock that
supports them and diverts gossip back on itself.
6
Challenge a personal
gossiper directly. Some people gossip
because they enjoy it or they feel insecure about others in the workplace. Most
gossipers are pure attention-seekers. A persistent and long-term gossiper must
be stopped in their tracks by calling their bluff. View such people as attention-seekers
and give them some attention within limits by hearing them out in a closed-door
meeting:
o Inform the gossiper that you want to know what
is really bothering them. Ask them why they are telling you the information
(that you perceive as gossip). Forcing them to explain will cause them to
realize that you have seen through their muckraking for what it is.
o Another tactic is to inform the gossiper that
you are prepared to follow up the gossip with the targeted person. This will
let the gossiper know that the information is going back to the targeted party
and the gossiper will likely retract or apologize.
o Be positive and genuinely seek to assist the
gossiper. Engage the gossiper in a conversation that lets them air their realgrievances
and be understanding but firm in your responses. Maybe they are peeved that
they missed out on a training or promotion opportunity; maybe they are annoyed
that the victim of the gossip has a special work deal or work hours that they
also want to have. Dig a little deeper and see if there is a fair solution that
can be reached.
o Be realistic. If the gossiper sees your direct
approach of fair discussion as threatening and refuses to be forthcoming in
what is really bugging them, be firm in letting them know that the gossip must
stop. Often confronting a gossiper in this direct manner is enough to alert
them to stop; or they may choose to move on under their own steam. At the end
of the day, however, it may be necessary to make it clear that gossip is not
tolerated at all at work, to the extent of letting go of a person who persists
in this behavior.
o Remember the "kernel of truth"
mentioned above. Whilst it is not appropriate to assume that the target of the
gossip is deserving of the muckraking, sometimes the gossiper's loose talk
might have pointed out a weakness in a work practice or a person's skills that
may need attending to. Do some discreet homework to see if perhaps there is
need for improved communications, some staff training or other means for
improving work morale that might have been overlooked in general. In other
words, look for some positives a midst the negative situation that will allow
your team and workplace to self-improve as a result.
7
Don't participate in
work gossip. If you participate in
work gossip, you perpetuate it and you belittle yourself. In particular, if you
have leadership aspirations, or you are already in a position of leadership,
any participation in work gossip by you will be viewed negatively and as
anti-team spirited. Always ask yourself about your motivation
when discussing others in a personal way within the work context; if you are
talking about them to ingratiate yourself with others or to make yourself
appear better, then it is likely that you are gossiping.
8
Make it company policy
to discourage gossip. It is important that
staff members are aware of how gossip is treated in your company. Make this a
constructive and positive policy, however, by showing what employees should do
rather than telling what not to do. For example, provide examples of what your
workplace considers to be gossip and provide examples of how to avoid this type
of negative interaction.
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